Saturday 24 March 2007

autonomous living and mornings!

We don't do mornings well here. We seem to have a strong 'evening' meme that leads to people staying up later and later and then obviously not getting up in the morning. So we've imposed (it's been in place a long time) a suppertime so that ostensibly dd3 goes to bed. Not v autonomous at all and I'm a bit uncomfy about it but without it...

Last night was a case in point, my mum came round to look after the kids while we went out, and even though I had a fixed bedtime of 9pm myself when I was little, for some reason Mum doesn't think it's a good thing to continue when she's here. So I rang at 11 to find myself talking to A, and then my mum, and then M who was just about to have supper.

This morning, I got M up at 8.30 to go to drama class and she said she was too tired, so I said she needed to sleep and to go back to bed. And she really was too tired, even though after a few minutes she got up again and we dashed through getting dressed and she went, she's been really whiny and hard work all day, because she's tired.

So what to do? Forget about doing stuff in the morning? Hope it will all balance out? Just not have my mum to babysit in future???

How do bedtimes work in autonomous houses? Does it make a difference if people are sharing rooms and does it make a difference how many adults there are in the house?

4 comments:

Gill said...

We just go to bed when we're tired. Lyddie doesn't like to stay up later than me though, so when I'm tired, she comes too. The teens do their own thing, all hours. It's rare we're all asleep at once here!

these boots said...

Well, here non-imposed mealtimes have never really happened, but maybe that's cos A is only 5 and M, 3 (4 next week!) I make supper at roughly 6.30 ish if I'm here (so I can listen to the Archers while I finish clearing up!) and it has never seemed to occur to the kids that they don't want to sit round the table and eat it. (or, quite often, not eat it). They leave the table whenever they want, sometimes/sometimes not putting their plates in the dishwasher on the way. It has never felt like we're imposing anything, cos no-one has ever objected to it. (yet!) Then we all go to bed in the one room and either watch a dvd or listen to a decent story c.d - something not too 'young' so that we can enjoy it too iykwim! Again, neither of them has ever said they're not ready for bed. Maybe that's cos we don't go out much tbh, so they get plenty of chance to do the stuff they want to do in the day. A has got up in the night once, when she played downstairs for a while then came back to bed. And then, if me and DH are still awake (doubtful!) after the kids are asleep (usually about 10 at the very latest) we get our fix of Battlestar/Lost/Smallville/whatever we're into at the time! The kids usually start waking up about 7.30 ish in the morning.

Louise said...

Hmmm tricky.
I do the supper thing anytime up to 9.30pm then brush littlest one's teeth by 10. Him and his sis then watch a movie. The older 2 do their own thing. No-one seems to go to sleep til I do which is rarely before midnight.
We have a few early (10am) starts that mean they are tired but I wake them and if they want they can choose to miss it but rarely do. As it is only once/twice a week max they seem to handle it.
My kids share a room with one other sibling and I think this is definitely why they stay up as late as they do. Frustrating but we can't do it any other way really - though Gill would ;o)

Tracy Oldfield said...

Gill, yeah that's the thing. We're all buggers for 'pushing through the wall' and staying up way longer than would be useful, and then not getting up. *sigh*

Lucy I've always liked the way you do evenings but it's not dh's idea of fun to flob out in bed with the kids.

Louise, yes room-sharing, dd3 goes to her room after supper and dd1 and dd2 go to dd2's, because dd1 and 3 share and if dd1 went to her room, she'd just talk and talk and talk, lol.

Maybe if we did more stuff and got up earlier every day, instead of once or twice a week, a pattern might work itself out?

Just as long as k doesn't knacker it up by getting me up really really early. Again.