I woke up early this morning, it was about half past 6 when I was conscious enough to remember to check the time. I'd had a dream, and it's stuck with me, unlike most dreams. Well really it's just the ending that I remember. I'm guessing the dream was sparked off to a degree by reading Rosalie's story in Eclipse, as I was part of some royalty and there was a big do, I think it was my wedding, so there were loads of guests and preparation and it was all really weird (well duh, it's a dream! but anyway...) I was going to wear a certain outfit, it was a bit Barbarella I guess, or perhaps original series Star Trek (hm, could I be Spock's bride, the new Spock that is? That would work for me, oh yes.) but when I came to wear it, it was too small as I had put on weight since I wore it last, and I had the court dressmakers fussing around me trying to sort it out.
And then I woke up, so I never got to see the finished article. But a mantra's been stuck in my head all day, the title of this post. On the surface it sounds healthy, to accept the current situation as being how it is, how it's going to be, adapt to it to make the best of it and move on from stressing/obsessing about it. But that unfinished dress is bugging me too. If I accept the status quo, will it all come back to bite me on the arse the next time I lose the plot like I have this Winter? And what part of the status quo was the dream about? My size? My home-life? My marriage? All of it?
If the thing that's really bugging me right now, which is my lack of time at home alone, is just how it's going to be, am I letting dh off? Can I really accept it or is the resentment going to build up and explode later on? I guess it feels more like admitting defeat than accepting the inevitable.